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nope your too late i already died
i keep calling....
girl
party
📺 “Nobody Wants This… Product placement” — Netflix's ad drama. Earnings Season’s exception. Neo’s home robot. +DoorDash’s cuffing szn
🤠 “YAHOOOO!” — Yahoo’s email revival. Trade War II Begins. Hans Zimmer’s creator hack.
👚 “Moms popping collars” — Abercrombie’s nostalgia fire. Amazon’s Airbnb move. Glencore’s bribe rooms.
i don't think we'll ever find him
who*re
if you hate me now it would make me proud
my twenty first reason
The Best Idea Yet 🍟 The Happy Meal: A Delicious McMystery
🍽️ “The Napkin Costume” — Chipotle’s Halloween collab. Surge in reservations for 1. US Steel’s epic history.
🌎 “Pan-cession” — Global recession risk. Chipotle’s tariff-free avocado. Clocking out at 4:39pm.
🌮 “Uno. Dos. Taco.” — Duolingo’s language cafe. Target’s tumble. Women’s Soccer’s payday.
🤖🏃🏻 “AI Forrest Gump” — Tom Hanks’ deepfake drama. World Cup’s 2030 dictator decision. Airbnb’s Pre-Apology Tour.
intro
🩱 “Keeping Up With $5B” — Skims’ money situation. Country Music’s AI hit. Netflix’s theme park opens. +Harvard Grade InflAAAAtion
Introducing… The Best One Yet 🦩 Tesla’s avocado tree. Steinway’s self-playing piano. The Gap’s Return-on-Influencer.
🦋 “Kendrick Lamar doesn’t Venmo” — Cash App’s rap battle. Bitcoin’s anti-bro. McDonald’s de-arching.
⛈ “It will rain at 3:18pm… in 1 year” - Salient’s super weather app. HP’s perfect conference room. Sheryl’s automation complication.
💍 “#BamaRush Made Me Buy It” — Kendra Scott’s jewelry. FedEx’s concert problem. Ford Mustang’s dealer deal.
🤑 “Big Deal Energy” — $5 Hot-Deal-Summer. Delta’s spa strategy. Rivian’s VW sugar mama.
🎃 “Gummy-ween” — Chocolate’s Napoleonic moment. Uniqlo’s 75/50 strategy. Plumbing & AC millionaires.
ware me out like old clothes
el sonata (an interlude for the parasitic)
don't you wanna see me soon
suburban daredevil
🇺🇸 “How Elections Affect Stocks” — Election Day Economy. Gladiator II’s creativity secret. Bandit Running’s disruption.
🧠 “Severed” – AppleTV+ dirty secret. Ben & Jerry’s chocolatey lawsuit. Nvidia’s AI Super Bowl.
🙂 “South Park me” — ChatGPT’s animation studio. CoreWeave’s Snow White IPO. SoulCycle’ Fashion Stores
🐻❄️ “Artificial Santa” — Coca-Cola’s AI holiday ad. Axon’s bipartisan tasers. Beta’s e-airplane IPO. +Line-Waiting Biz
🛵 “Who is Mamadou?” — Uber’s perfect delivery guy. Nvidia’s OpenAI circularity. Exec Assistants-for-All. +Sorority $$$ Surge.
🎟️ “Inside StubHub” — The Ticket IPO. Napster’s $200M comeback. 23&Me’s DNA drama.
👶 “IBO: Initial Baby Offering” — Podcast Update…
🚢 “I live on a cruise ship” — Storyline’s cruise condos. Tylenol’s cough cocktail. Roku’s binge TV.
🍯 “How to make $1 Billion” — Steve Ballmer’s money story. Electric Bikes’ Gen Z surge. Citibank’s criminal ATM.
☎️HOTLINE: Hack your life with Travel Guru, Jo Franco
👋 “We quit your job” — Exit’s job-quitting concierge. Dick’s Sporting Goods’ kids app. 1-BR apt in NYC: $4,500/month.
🌮 “It’s got a taco elevator” — Taco Bell’s drive-thru supreme. Summer’s housing test-drive. Shopify’s new king.
🧀 “Not so square” – Cheez-Its’ best year. Tesla’s mission switch. The Crown’s $1B profit.
🫦 “E.l.f. explains the Election” — Elf Beauty’s $3 win. Elon’s “TruthX” play. The Power of the word “We”.
📕 “Hedge Fund University” — Harvard’s $2B battle. Coachella’s Payment Plans. Netflix’s $1 trillion plan.
🍎 “Teacher’s pet AI” — Alpha’s 1st AI school. Ford’s assembly tree. Chanel’s 250-page magazine. + GCal dating.
🦈 “Doo-Doo-Doo” — Baby Shark’s IPO. 85% off Ozempic. Lyft CEO David Risher. +Restaurant Hottie AI
🏩 “Honey, love the home you’re with” — Elon’s Twitter roadmap. OHouse’s unicorn house design. Lordstown’s cash-less car.
👾 “Donkey Kong’s gray hairs” — Nintendo’s Switch sitch. Best Buy’s skincare search. Tesla’s China challenge.
💀 “I talk to famous dead people” — Chat(bot) with anyone. Israel’s startup threat. Carnival’s IOU cruise.
🧃 “Four Loko 2.0” — Prime Energy drink’s trouble. Amazon’s tiny treats. Threads’ greatest weakness.
🥇 “Gollllllld” — Costco’s gold bars. Microsoft’s nuclear reactor. Levi’s over-firing strategy.
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